sunshine girl

hey! I thought the last stanza seemed to contradict the previous ones, but overall I did like it and it had some great imagery. With a bit of fine tuning ...

I think the last comment was a bit harsh (no offence intended) but I do agree with some of the points. I didn't think the rhythm flowed very well but ...

I actually quite liked it. I especially liked the rhyme of 'son' and 'I won't be gone for long'. I think this rhyme worked particularly well. Ok, so parts do ...

People are saying they don't like the ending, but I thought it was the best bit! Where as bits through out the poem were a bit wishy washy, I thought ...

Why are people so mean on this site???! I liked it even if it does need a bit of work. Maybe parts could have done with a different rhyme scheme, ...

I actually quite liked it despite what everyone else said! :) I agree, it does need a bit of work to make it better, but I thought it did have ...

Hi. I like the ideas but I think the repitition could have worked more to your advantage with a bit of fine tuning to make it more poignant. It could ...

I like the ideas of this, however in parts it seems just a bit too clumsy. I know people don't write exact english in their diaries (I for one certainly ...

I quite liked this, and the ideas were great but parts were a tiny bit cliche. I think expressing something so old (love!) in a new way is really hard ...